Marijo: Get Ready for Nightmares
The other day, we took the whole family to see a movie – the latest installment in the Ice Age franchise. As usual, the first 20 minutes was solid movie previews. The difference this time? Every single movie was NOT appealing to the kids.
The movies included:
ParaNorman – a loner, Norman, who can talk to the dead, unleashes the wrath of a witch who persecutes him with all sorts of monsters. IMDB likens it to Coraline, which my children still rate in their top hated movies ever. Rated PG.
Hotel Transylvania – this star-studded tale (Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez, Kevin James, Molly Shannon, Cee Lo Green) sounds like Monsters Inc for the pre-teen crowd. Dracula runs a “5-stake” hotel resort that allows monster families to escape from humans and relax. Of course, a human boy infiltrates and falls for Dracula’s daughter Mavis. Really? Rated PG.
Rise of the Guardians – the “supers” of childhood like Santa Claus (aka “North” in this movie), the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny band together to fight the evil Pitch (is that a slam on capitalism?). More stars in this one – Alec Baldwin, Jude Law, Isla Fisher and Hugh Jackman among them. I was particularly put off by North’s tattoos and Russian accent (hearkening back to the mighty Soviet Union of old). Is that really how we want our kids to think of jolly Old Saint Nick? (They do want to see this one, but I am going to try to resist). Doesn’t appear to be rated, yet according to IMDB or the official site (red flag?).
And by far, the creepiest, Frankenweenie – the darkest of them all. This film reunites Catherine O’Hara and Winona Ryder from their Beetlejuice days, as well as the haunting Christopher Lee (maybe I’m the one who’s scarred by his creepy performances of the 60’s and 70’s). This Tim Burton film is so disturbing, the previews made my youngest hide his eyes (and he is afraid of absolutely nothing). A boy brings his dead dog back to life and, well, you know how Dr. Frankenstein’s story ended. ‘Nuff said. Rated PG.
I have to say, I was relieved that they didn’t start begging to see any of these movies. In fact, they seemed a little disgusted by all but the Guardians movie. All of these come out in the next two months, so be warned…and let the nightmares begin.
